


1995: The Internet Is A Fad

by Midnight On Saturn (Austyn_Layne)



Category: Original Work
Genre: 1990s, ADHD, Absurd, Absurdity Play, Aphex Twin - Freeform, Cuban Missile Crisis, Dial-up-Internet, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, High School, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Netscape, News Media, Nihilism, Nintendo - Freeform, Nostalgia, Oregon Trail, Period-Typical Homophobia, Retro, Ridiculous, The Internet is a fad, This Is STUPID, Why Did I Write This?, Yahoo, Yowl, howl - Freeform, mtv, techno, the internet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 22:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19036555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Austyn_Layne/pseuds/Midnight%20On%20Saturn
Summary: In 1995, a lot of people thought the Internet was a fad. Here is a story of one such family that might have existed. Enjoy!





	1995: The Internet Is A Fad

Steve, was sitting at his desk near the living room waiting patiently as the sound of the _Dial-Up-Internet_  danced in his ears. He was about to search the _Web_ using  _Netscape_ _,_  for information on the 1962  _Cuban missile crisis_ ; when his dad, Marvin chimed in from the kitchen.

"Trying to save the princess again Steve - don't you have homework to do?" Marvin snickered, as he slathered a spoonful of _Helmans_ mayonnaise onto his baloney sandwich.

Steve could hardly hear his dad because he was now listening to  _Ventolin_  by  _Aphex Twin_ on his _Walkman_  CD player. Music always helped Steve drown out the world and study...especially when his folks were around.

Steve took off his headphones and asked his dad to repeat what he said, as Marvin sat down on the couch, and started reading the _New York Times._

"I said, have rescued the princess yet!?" Marvin yelled, obviously thinking Steve was playing an old _8-bit_   _Nintendo_ game.

"No dad! I'm waiting for this damn page to load on the web! And I told you - I'm not playing _Mario_. I'm doing my homework! GAWD!" Steve shouted back, as he impatiently watched (Due to his _ADHD_ ) the page slowly appear piece-by-piece.

Marvin just chuckled and said _yeah right,_ as he read the latest scandals from around _Washington D.C_. .

"You know son, if you ask me, this whole "internet" thing is just an excuse to play video games. I know what's going on over there. A whole bunch of nothing." Marvin said with chuckle.

"Again dad, I'm not playing games! I'm doing research for _American History_! And plus you can do other things on the web, like send and receive _emails_   _._ " Steve shouted through gritted teeth as he frantically moved the _cursor_  across the screen and clicking the mouse.

"Whatever Steven, but that whole net thing is a big _fad_. It's just a waste of time. Hell, the last game I'd played were, _Space Invaders_ and  _Burger Time_ on your mom's _Atari 2600,_ she bought from  _Zayre's_ back in the 80s; and even then I thought it was a waste of time. And emails? I'll stick with the post office thank you. I remember this clip on the _Today Show_  some time back,talking about "emails". They all laughed at it. Shows you how much kids know about life these days. Let the grown-ups run the world; in my opinion kids should be seen and not heard. End of discussion! " 

Steve couldn't understand how his father just could _not_ grasp a word he was saying; and how he kept comparing the Internet to a video game, was really getting on his nerves.

"Yeah Steve, It was all your mom's idea to bring that thing into the house. A waste of brain cells and a waste of money and time. Just a fancy way to _slack-off_." Marvin said, frustrating Steve even more.

"Dad, I don't want to say it again. I'm not playing a game; I'm doing homework. And if you'd just come over here and look for yourself, you'd realize that!" Steven said, pleading with his father to no avail.

Marvin put down the paper, then turned the TV onto _CNN_ where he chuckled at _Al Gore_ talking about the _ozone hole._  

"If you ask me the only good Gore was Tipper; she did some real good for the country, by getting them to put those _parental advisory stickers,_ on all that trash you call music. Also, I'm no fan of that _MTV_ either, the other night I caught some of that show _Alternative Nation_ you love so much, that host looks like a lesbian - about turned my damn stomach, so I changed the damn channel." Marvin rambled, causing Steve to just roll his eyes then set his father straight on his assumptions.

"Dad! She's not a lesbian! she's straight - she dates dudes. And my music isn't trash - thank you very much!"

"Well, if your sister dressed like that, I'd throw all her clothes in the trash! And Steve, I don't hear any studying going on over there!" Marvin chuckled, as a blob of mayonnaise fell on his shirt.

"Dad! Just come over here and see for yourself - your getting on my damn nerves!"

"First of all, don't raise your voice at me, and second I don't need to go over there just to watch you get a 100 coins for a 1up! What I need you to do, is put down the video games and stick your head in a book." 

Steven was about to get up and drag his dad to the monitor to show him the Web page on the _Cuban missile crisis_. When his father started going on again about the net.

"Yup, that whole Internet thing is a fad son. If you ask me, I'd give it another 5 years at best. I remember that one game your sister loved so much, the one about the _Oregon Trail._ She grew out of that, hopefully you will too." Marvin said as he flicked through the stations. 

Just then, his sister, Stacey, came downstairs to get her a _Coke_ from the fridge; when Marvin asked her what that disease was all those pioneers got.

"It was _dysentery_ dad. Oh steve, what are you doing?" Stacey replied.

"I'm trying to do some research, but try telling that to dad. He thinks I'm over here playing _Mario Bros,_ could you please tell him the Internet is for more than just games?"

"Haha! Oh no Stacey, I know better than that. I bet if you looked at that screen right now, you'd see him sliding down a pipe or jumping a flag pole." Their dad said, as he watched the watched the 5 day forecast on _The_ _Weather Channel_.

"No dad, he's really doing homework. I'm looking at it right now."

"Don't defend him, I know you two are in cahoots. I swear, if his grades start slipping, I'm blaming you and your mom."

"Dad, come on just come over here and look for yourself."

"I don't need to, all I know is that I pay the phone bill for that thing. Back in my day, we didn't have the "Internet" we took our butts down to the library and read real books. We didn't sit around all day, playing games on a "monitor"."

Steve and Stacey just looked at each other, and couldn't believe how pig headed their dad was. Steve tried once again to school his father about all the information you can look up online nowadays.

"Dad, they have encyclopedias on the web as well as other things like news articles and literary zines. Just the other day I found a parody of _Howl_ called _Yowl_ in the _New Republic_ archives. I'm telling you I'm not over here playing stupid video games."

" _Howl_! isn't that the trashy poem written by that gay Beatnik that hung out with the _Naked Lunch_ perv? And what are you doing looking up degenerate trash like that? If I knew that garbage was on there I would have never let your mom talked me into bringing that thing home from _Circuit City_!"

The ignorance in the room was as thick as fog, so thick the kids could swear it was scratching at the windows trying to ecscape.

"I swear kids! I can't wait for this Internet fad to be over! The guys told me what other things you can find on there. Things like _naked pictures_ and _drugs_! Don't think I don't know what goes on over there Steven! And Stacey, if I find out you've been looking at that trash - you're in for a rude awakening!"

"Dad! Just come over here and look at the screen! It's nothing like you think. It's just the online encyclopedia for crying out loud!" Stacey said while running her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"I don't need to look at no damn screens! The one in front of me is enough! I don't care to look at all that perversion! Damn perversion I tell you! Now I want you two to get upstairs and do some damn homework - and quit playing damn games and looking up trash!" 

Marvin screamed to the top of his lungs, while slamming the _New York Times_ on the coffee table like it was a disobedient dog.

"Dad, He is doing homework! Why won't you just come and look!?"

"I told you! I don't need to see your brother make it to _level-4_ \- I need him to turn off the damn game and get his homework done! You two got till the count of three, or I'm tossing that Internet in the trash! One, two, don't make me say it kids!" Marvin shouted out, while slamming his fat fist on the table, as the remnants of his sandwich fell on the green shag carpet - as _TWC_ Muzac played in the background.

The two kids went upstairs, shaking their heads in anger. When the heard their father exclaim.

"I can't wait for this Internet fad to end; so things can get back to normal around here! Just wait till your mother gets home! I'm going to tell her everything you two have been up to. See how long it is till you play another video game Steven! You won't be saving any princesses for a long time young man!" Marvin screamed out at the top of his lungs, as he slammed the paper down on the coffee table one last time.

 

 THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> In all honesty, this story was partially inspired by a Newsweek article published in 1995 called, 'The Internet Bah!'. It's worth a quick read, if you want a good laugh and window into the mind of some individuals of the early 90s.


End file.
